 |
Web Hosting by Netfirms | Free Domain Names by Netfirms |
|
|
|
|
World War 3 CommenTators: Tony Shaivone, Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan, and Iron Mike Tenay. I don't know and I don't care if Scary Nabisco(Larry Zbyszko) was there or not I didn't see him and that makes me ecstatic nonetheless. Well in order to completely tell this story and give it justice, I must digress to Saturday the 22, at 8:30 pm after a hard day of work at my home. I finally got to play back my telephone messages and I got what at first, sounded like a teenagers crank call. Which turned out being what my close friend sounds like when she's phoning practically hyperventilating from the ladies showers at her gym. Well she left only 4 distinct words for me to decipher, Scott Hall, and Billy Kidman. Lord knows I didn't have my handy dandy Batman decoder on me, so I was pretty unsure of what the hell she was talking about. So I paged her a handful of times, and patiently waited for her to call me when she got home. And she did. I think I could hear an Angelic choir singing in the background too. Seems WCW wrestlers were working out over at her gym. Of course, I was incredulous, and my scientific mind, yeah, that's it. Asked her to prove it. Well after a night of no sleep, now I was nervous as a school girl, we went to her gym..You know those places aren't my bag. But this one was nice. It has all the latest nice things one should have, cardiovascular section, a extensive vitamin and mineral/liquid refreshment selection, apparel sporting their logo, freeweights, circuit training Scott Norton, Kaos, The Disciple, Bobby Blaze, Bill Goldberg...Did I mention it had a Now Extensive Cardiovascular Workout section??? Like I said, it's not my bag, but exercise does a body good, I'm as firm a believer in that, as I am that the Disciples ass is firmer than fresh packed snow. I had about as much as I could bear, and I put my mouth to the test and apologized to Mr. Norton and extended my hand, and I told him in no uncertain terms, "Mr. Norton, It's an honor to meet you, and I uh, think your...cool. Um, and I like your other pants better..." Well that drew the, 'mmm, forgot your medication today did we?'' look, so I clarified the now, "oh GODS!!! What's wrong with me, I should have taken my medication...wait, I don't take medication..." With a very explanatory, "You know the ones with bricks down the legs?..." Kaos looked at him like, "Man Scotty, you need to beam her up..." Which I'd have let him do, I think Scotty is a Hottie! Well, I thought I'd change the rather awkward moment to my advantage, and it worked, I told him I've never done these machines, and asked for a demonstration...Did I mention, He smelled sooo Fine? Well, I was soo preoccupied staring at him, he could have shown me how to flush his lunch and I'd have been mesmerized. I cracked about an hour later and started to ask for autographs when the fellas weren't busy. Now I have to admit, the only reason I knew that Bobby Blaze was a wrestler was because he looked at my pen and paper longingly, like, "Okay, I've got this rehearsed, she asks me, I puff out my chest all manly like and say Sure lady, in a baritone...God I hope my voice doesn't squeak..." Well I didn't have the heart to tell him that I really wasn't sure of what he did, let alone his finishing move, so rather than hurt his feelings and later on find out he was some HUGE independent star and I'd kick myself later when he got more airtime. I just said thank you. Oh, their message to the masses are, Disciple and Kaos: "Just keep watching." like we're gonna flock to the bowling channel? Blaze: "Remember my name, I'm going to Blaze a trail of fame in wrestling." And my hint is if that doesn't work out, try being a forest fighter? And my "Awww, that's soo sweet award goes to Bill Goldberg, "I just want to thank all the fans for what they did for me." Well your welcome. Okay, so we went home to shower and change, because we didn't want to get kicked out during all that, so we found muscles to exercise, we didn't even know existed. ************************* We got to the Stadium to earlier and couldn't get right in, then we had to wait forever in line to get in. It would have been okay, but you remember the smelliest kid in high school, the one even the teachers told, "Damn Pepe, this is a good place for a stickup?" Well he was in front of us. We could see the odors wafting off of him as we gagged. It was the grossest thing. Thank the gods, we finally got to our seats. And here's how the matches went. +First up was Wrath Vs. Glacier Glacier is such a heel, the heat he gets as a heel is weird. Am I the only one that thinks he looks like a bad Mortal Kombat Sub Zero clone? Now that I mention it, isn't there anyone else who thought that it was too ironic that Wrath beat Glacier with the Meltdown? Like Glacier ran in back and Whe-ezzed the Juice, Bu-Huddy... +Stevie Ray Vs. Konan What's with K-dawg coming out like it's his next rap video taping, and doing that hand sign over his ears? Makes him look like the energizer bunny. Like he needs to draw more attention to his head, than being bald... You know how you don't let friends drink and drive? Well it seems the nWo don't let their over wrestlers drink and job, so Vincent, the resident jobber, came out with Stevie. Stevie had the 'This space for rent' Section on his wrestling tights, that said "Slapjack'. Well, I would, but I'd rather slap Hairy Nabisco, I don't know a Jack. What's the deal with the white and black lately anyway? They're coming between more brothers than the civil war did. Right now it's put a rift between Rick and Snot Stiener, then Stevie Ray and Booker T. and Scott "Last Call" Hall and Kevin Nash. +Sonny Ono and Ernest 'The Cat' Miller Vs. Kaz Hayashi and StaUrn I'm well aware that the mans' name is Saturn, but for what ever reason, the publisher of the wrestling 'menu' printed StaUrn. So be it, it's now StaUrn, as far as I'm concerned. Which to to sounds like one of those new fangled denture bonding cremes, but lilibelle, my wrestling cohort thinks it sounds like a new sort of feminine product...'StaUrn, for those days you feel Less than Fresh..." Speaking of 'Fresh', what's the deal with StaUrns' new ring attire? Did he just get finished filming on the set of the New Voyages of Sinbad? +Billy Kidman Vs. Juventud Guerrera Cruiserweight Match I've seriously got the 7yr. itch for Billy Kidman, but what's the deal with him looking like the love child of Bret Hart and Sting??? Juvi went LwO, but I don't mind. I actually like the LwO. +Rick Steiner Vs. Scott Steiner w/ Buff Bagwell I have to say the highlight of all the matches was watching Goldberg have a chuck a chump contest with the referee and the ref. ending up in completely a different ring. +Scott Hall Vs. Kevin Nash Well Eric was a jerk, handsome but he shaved all his nice hair off. Oh, I meant he called Scott Hall out to the ring with Bryan Adams, Horace Grant, Scotty Norton, Scott Stiener, and Vincent. and he sic'ed them on him. Well out of the night, with the moon shining bright...No it wasn't Zorro, It was Big Sexy who came to save him. Man are they milking this Outsider re union thing, they didn't do it yet. Oh and Scott Hall had "Hall" written across his crotch, and all I can say is I want a Hall pass for sure now. +Bobby Duncum Jr. Vs. Chris 'The Lionheart' Jericho w/ Ralphus Title Match Chris was wearing his Dorothy Gail ruby red pants.LOL. And all I can say about Duncum, is it shouldn't have been a Title match, it should have been a sheep shearing contest, the man made Nabisco look bald! Bobby looks like he took time outta his Rodeo schedule to squeeze in the match in the first place. The WWF and the WCW have been doing some really lewd things as of late, and I thought that I'd never be more traumatized than being exposed Vince McMorons' underwear when Stone Cold Steve Austin attacked him in the hospital. But much to my dismay, at the end of the match Bobby, started to undress Ralphus. I'm scared for life. +Okay the big 60 men in three rings thing occurred. I will try to put it simple, it was a brawl for all. These are the men I think were in it.
Winner: Kevin "Big Sexy The Giant Killer" Nash Just as a breather in the match I suppose I should mention that Bam Bam Bigelow attacked the ring and for whatever angle explaining reason Bill Goldberg and he started such a fight, that most of the fellas in the free for all stopped to watch the pandemonium. It looked like it took all of the security guards and refs. to break them up too. +Bret "The Hitman Hart" Hart Vs. Diamond Dallas Page Well, I have to say that I didn't stay for the whole match. While I was in the audience, I saw unknown fans start to 'beach ball' bounce a big inflate-a-male organ down the top riser and I laughed myself silly. I liked the Card so much, I taped it on It's replay Tuesday night. I have to tell you (Thank gods no Nabisco, snuck in, except for pre-game I heard) that Tony Shiavone really cracks me up, in the annals of dumb commentating, he said, "Hey, Look at Page fighting!" Like we were actually going to see Page and Hart doing a Polka to Page's Smells Like Teen Spirit entrance music... So lilibelle and I left, which was nice, because when we got outside we saw some people congregated and we waited and we saw Alex Wright and Dicko Inferno come out. Well, to put it bluntly, they were really rude and derogatory to their fans, and I know they're heels but there were only maybe 10 people and all of them were like teenagers if that old(besides lili and myself) Ernest brushed by and much to our surprize it was Glacier who was cordial and bothered with a "Thank you, you all have a good night." Well she and I had to go to our car and like I said the Dicko and Alex were asses, Ernest was just keeping to himself, and Dicko was such a jerk, he threw his luggage at Glacier like he was a glorified bellhop. I felt so bad, for him I helped him out and handed him his luggage, well, he was very gracious and actually gave me his autograph. I was very impressed with Glacier and he'll always be one of my favorites. As for Dicko and Alex. I have nothing nice, or funny to say about them,and I'd never even by keychain of theirs for a little special needs child who liked them. Ernest, didn't say or do anything rude, so he still awaits what can be my harsh judgment. That's it from my demented mind, until next time. Love, grace and peace Ella, the Mad Phat Bagwell Buffer.
|
