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By Chokee Slam (the artist formerly known as CiggiePak) (10/98)
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| The sighting of the wet spot was noticed on the
Undertaker as we were watching Summerslam 1998. We reckon that this spot has been there
previously but since our recent elevated interest in watching WWF, we have noticed this
more. For those who are wondering why we are
focusing on analyzing his butt, it’s because in the past he has been known to wear
his ‘underwear’ (standard wrestling undie garb) OVER his tights. |
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| He is not the only wrestler to have
done this (Shawn Michael, Bret Hart, Taka Michinoku, just to name a few) and this is a
fascinating phenomena in the world of professional wrasslin’. Through our natural curiosity and need to focus on the inane
and petty issues of our favorite characters, we were looking at his butt and LO and
BEHOLD, we caught sight of THE ENIGMATIC WET SPOT. This wet spot has taken various shapes
and forms and the majority of the time, it’s running along his butt crack. So here
are some of the reasonings we have come up with since scrutinizing his buttock area: |
| Reasons for the
Wet Spot
Physical: |
Chronic Butt Sweater. He
obviously performs in his trade to the hilt therefore it’s inevitable that he sweats.
But some people do have a tendency to sweat more in SPECIFIC areas. Some are chronic
kneepit sweaters, some are chronic armpit sweaters, chronic face sweaters (like the Rock)
and just basic chronic ALL over sweaters (pull over sweaters as well). |
Sexual: |
too much KY that night?? (oh!
who said that? ...B.C.) |
Mental: |
With Vince’s recent
accusation to the UT that he is perhaps ‘mentally handicapped’, he does perhaps
have some emotional blockage. His character is after all, a tormented soul, a gloomy gus.
Therefore some signs of mental strife tend to be loss of bodily functions. |
Psychological: |
He may like to play mind
tricks with his audience. Perhaps it’s a Rorschach test. I attest that I saw the
shape of Texas on his butt. (I see my mother putting my therapist in a headlock
…B.C.) |
Humorous: |
Perhaps Mr. Callaway is a
very good humored individual (I reckon he has to be to play the Undertaker character. And
especially for wearing the old UT outfit which made him look Amish, he HAS to have a sense
of humor). So prior to his matches, Glen Jacobs (who plays Kane) or Steve Williams (you
all know who he is) told him a funny and he basically wet his pants. There is a glitch in
this theory however since the pee stain would be on the front side.. but humor me anyways. |
Laziness: |
Just too darn tired to use
some SHOUT on that stain. He does maintain a hectic schedule and it would be somewhat rare
that he encounters a washing machine (not the Dan Severn kind, but the actual appliance)
while on the road. |
Corporate
Cutbacks: |
Vinnie Mac and those of
the WWF do not have as much money to spare as the WCW (We Can’t Wrestle or WheelChair
Wrestling), therefore it is essential to maintain a budget. Which would mean NEW leggings
every year or so, NO haircuts (this is not a negative but a plus because MULLETS
must be banned.) |
Dehydration: |
Wrestling can basically
suck all the moisture from your body's natural supply so perhaps prior to putting on the
tights, he takes a quick run through the shower. |
Amusement: |
As a form of tension
release, the Undertaker and a few of his buddies will go to the arena parking lot and play
'Slip and Slide'. |
Should anyone come up with any
theories, please feel free to E-Mail.
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