| Many women have written to me
telling me that they do indeed find Mr. Jacobs sexy. But.. I ask, how does Mr. Jacobs feel
about this himself?? He is reported to be a very sweet and rather shy man, but imagine if
he took a choke hold of this 'sex symbol' status and it really went to his head.
Why, as soon as he steps into the arena, the lights
are dimmed and the audience is cheering that he exists. His chest and chin is held high as
he saunters towards the ring in confidence. There is practically a shuffle in his step as
if he's going to do a strip show (don't I wish). Underneath the mask, he scans the
audience to see all his admirers and the faces of all who would love to ride the Big Red
Love Machine.
As he shuffles and scans the faces, he thinks, 'Mm,
she wants me…… mm, do I make you horny, baby… she wants me too.. eew, I
think HE wants me..' Then he would turn back and take to the locker rooms and cower
in a corner chanting, 'take me to a safe place…'
But what is it like in the Jacobs household??
Here's a little skit…
Glen (Coming home from a rugged tour
with the WWF): 'Honey, the SEX SYMBOL is in the HOUSE!!'
Wife: 'Geesh.. I think it's going to
your head..'
Glen: 'What do you mean by that. You
don't believe that women find me sexy??'
Wife: 'Well honey I think you're sexy
in a cute way.. that's why I married you..'
Glen: 'But you know, women want to do
THINGS with me, NASTY THINGS..'
Wife: 'Oh.. you want nasty? You're
supposed to clean out the gutters…'
Glen: ' Really… they've said they
wanted to RIDE me until I screamed for my mommy..'
Wife: 'You keep talking that way and
you're going to be LIVING with your mommy..'
Glen: 'Aaaw.. I'm not joking. Women
want to become ONE with my body..'
Wife: 'Did you scrape the shingles off
the roof??'
Glen: '(flubbering) … I ….
don't remember..'
Wife: 'Listen Mr. Sexy Man, you still
have duties to your family..'
Glen: '.. but… I'm … HOT..
see, I sizzle when I'm touched… zzzzz…'
Wife: 'Oh, did you pick up some ground
beef and chops. You know we have a barbecue coming up for the neighborhood picnic. Are you
inviting that Al Sarven again??'
Glen: 'Al's my good friend.. women
find him sexy too..'
Wife: 'Do you find him sexy?'
Glen: 'Uh.. I don't swing that way..'
Wife: 'Then shut up.'
(Two daughters enter room, give dad a hug.)
Daughter 1: 'Hey Pop..'
Glen: 'Hey, do you kids think Dad's a
sex symbol?'
Daughter 1: '… if you
think so…hey, what's the square root of 81??'
Glen: '…uuuh…(stammers)..
hey, I don't have to know those things.. I'm a sex symbol!'
Daughter 2: 'Are we having veal??'
Daughter 1: 'Dad's such a geek, isn't
he??'
Wife: 'The septic tank needs to be
cleaned.. '
Glen is finally defeated.. the winner at 105 pounds
is the WIFE!
*This segment was an act of farce and derived from
my silly twisted imagination. And I'm sure he knows the square root of 81 for he was a
substitute teacher once upon a time.
However it's fun to write scenarios.
I hope I haven't offended nor caused any harm to Mr.
Jacobs nor his family members.
Until next time.. this is Chokee Slam, the Mad Phat
Kane Chaser (sounds like a good drink..)
Some of the above images were obtained from the Brides of Kane
website.
http://members.tripod.com/~glenjacobs/
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