>hey! what gives? no picture!<

Lazarus Poe: The Mad Phat Bagwell Buffer

Statistics:

Gender: Voluptuous Female

Height: Thanks, I'll pass...Heights weird me out...Oh, I get it, 5ft4

Hair: Long black with a Ginger strip at the bangs

Eyes: 2 when I'm sleeping and 4 when I'm awake, I'm terribly nearsighted

From: The The Land of Happy Trolls

Finishing Move: Sweet Chair Music followed by the Buffer if they're worthy. (that's where you crack 'em in the back of the noggin with a chair, when they least expect it and run like hell before they cream you like corn. But if they're really extra sexy, when they're laying helpless on the mat, I jump on them and cover them with the colour Buff lipstick kisses.)

History: Well, it really wasn't my favorite subject in school...I really liked creative writing and music...er..OH, I see,you mean my beginnings...Oh that's easy.

In the beginning God created wrestling, and said that it was good.

My mom on the other hand didn't agree, so I was banned from watching any violent sports (including football (Go Panthers!), hockey (Go Red Wings!) and soccer(Um,I don't have a favorite team, but I like Rugby:-) as a child.

Quite by accident, somehow movies missed her list of No-no's, and I saw the schlocky Sci-fi movie "They Live!" with Rowdy Roddy Piper. Okay, so I was watching it when she was sleeping and didn't have a chance to ask me to turn the station. Well nothing comes between true love and I was hooked.

Years later, I was watching television and Roddy was on as Commissioner of the WWF and I became hooked. In my desperation one day to find more wrestling, (hey, I needed a good laugh!) I watched the WCW Saturday program, well I was such a Mark that it took me 3 times before I realized it was even a different federation. And by then I was hooked. I liked both feds and pretty much all the wrestlers.

Lo and behold one day that wasn't enough, The insatiable hunger for wrestling had to be fed and the numerous PPV's, magazines and Cards I went to were not enough.

On the Last day God created AOL, and seeing that he'd made a mistake, he tried to right his ways by making the Wrestling Message Boards to appease his many children.

I was nonchalantly minding my own utterly wholesome business, when I was visited by the angelic heralds of Wrestling satire. CiggiePak and BostinCrab.

They were like my long lost kindred spirits in the seas of boring, "u rul", "MaRRi mE', and derogatory, "You've spent more time on the canvas than rembrandt" (thanks J.R.) posts.

They too dared to speak their minds, wet spots and all. They were there to speak the truth and had stones cast upon them by insecure, less than gifted, in the funny department, people.

Well, to my amazement, and Honor, I was sought out (right around my 2nd, "Behave yourself, no one wants to hear about how unattractive you think Paul Bearer is" warnings) and welcomed to the Asylum, to have a place where my irreverent posts and sarcastic stabs of humor can call home.

Thanks Bostin, Chokee, Frank, Lyn and Golivier. You like me, you really like me....

::sniffle, sniffle:: "Group hug, all you wrestlers join in too..."

Love, grace and peace Ella

Email: Ella at LazarusPoe@aol.com