Part 2
"I've always measured success not only by the amount of people that love you
but the ones that hate you too.
If you do something that everybody loves, it's not really worth too much."
(Marilyn Manson)

    WHAT are all y'all sick or somin?  MAN I cant
believs that all y'all would put something like
this on this o    odd site

Dear Mr. >eternally stupid<:

Thank you for stopping by Mad Phat Wrestling.  
Though we realize that this humor is not for the
weak at heart, we have discovered help
hotlines that can assist you in your moment of spazzing.
Just call 1-900-HELPMECOPEWITHTHISINTERNETSTUFF.

The Mad Phat Wrestling Page is obviously causing you some
mental anguish, therefore, we suggest that you stop viewing
it.

Sincerely,

The Mad Phat Wrestling Staff

I love Gangrel and you better Shut the heck up about that
one archive about him or I'll copy it down and send it to 
him. Oh yeah and how much do you like kane?. I like him
more than that stone cold jerk. I'm warning you about
Gangrel because I just sent him that archive and your
address so you bettr watch your butt because were onto
you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>I love Gangrel and you better Shut the heck up about
>that one archive about
>him or I'll copy it down and send it to him. 

Dear Ms. >delirious<
Thank you for writing to Mad Phat Wrestling. In order to
address your highly intelligent letter, I will need to
know WHICH statement about Gangrel you feel that I
should shut the heck about. For your convenience, I have
compiled a collection of Gangrel related critique from
the RAW reports (in chronological order from past to
present):
1. Gangrel needs to have some etiquette regarding his
spitting of corn syrup all over his mouth. After all,
when we eat, we don't have food all over OUR mouths (but
I am not speaking for YOU of course, you may slobber
when you eat and that is ... alright.)
2. Gangrel suffers from SFOABFS (which is the acronym
for Small Features On A Big Face Syndrome)
3. Gangrel and Christian, when wearing alternating black
and white poet shirts, resemble the Transylvanian Spy vs.
Spy.
4. Gangrel is referred as Mr. Bloated Night Shirt.
5. It would be an event if Gangrel's poet shirt caught
on fire as he emerges from his 'ring of fire'.
6. Gangrel laughs like Mr. Ed.
7. Gangrel is like those hot dogs that plump when you
cook them. Though I don't know how much more plump he can
get.
8. I called him GANGRENE.
9. Gangrel has a bubble head.
10. Gangrel laughs so much that Christian and Edge will
eventually tire of it and stake him.
11. When Gangrel got blood on the butt of his
nightshirt, I questioned if he'd ever heard of a tampon.
12. Gangrel scooped out some ear wax and looked at it.
13. I suggested that in order for an opponent to defeat
Gangrel, he should run up to him and stuff a tampon
in his mouth.
14. If Gangrel hopped around the ring like Al Snow, he
would crash through the mat.
15. Gangrel is a chubby vampire and he must be drinking
high cholesterol blood types.
16. Gangrel split the seam in the seat of his velvet
leggings and I wondered if a gargoyle flew out of his
butt. AND if perhaps it was a sepulchral fart consisting
of mere dust.
17. Gangrel resembles a bloated tick.

Now, which one is it?? 

Just for the record, I do not see how you can be an
authoritative figure telling people what to write or
what to think and to suppress expression of thoughts.
The last time I checked, we were living in a state which
practices freedom of speech. If you'd like to live in a
fascist state, I recommend you move out of the United
States.

For some reason you seem to believe that you are in some
sort of contact with Gangrel. If, in fact, you have sent
my text over to him, I do thank you, since Mad Phat
Wrestling was created for anyone who has access to the
internet (including the WWF stars). In other words, I
would LOVE for any WWF star to take notice of it. And if
it's through controversy, I'm all for that as well. Keep
in mind, whatever is published to the internet is for
ALL to see and read and to your dismay, enjoy. 

In your own little way, you have patronized Mad Phat
Wrestling and may have brought this site to Gangrel's
attention (that is, if you aren't living in some sort of
fantasy world at present and actually believe that
you correspond with him). 

Though I do not know Gangrel personally, I would expect
that he has enough self esteem to take some criticism,
some backlashing, and some harsh words. After all he is
in the media and the public eye right now. Even if he
wasn't, it would still be commendable that he has enough
self esteem (something which you obviously lack) to
take criticism.

>Oh yeah and
>how much do you
>like kane?. I like him more than that
>stone cold jerk.

This is a rather extraneous question. I suppose it's
hard for you to understand that someone can like and
appreciate more than ONE person. I would assume that you
like only ONE type of food, just ONE tv show, love your
mother but not your father (or vica versa), love your
mother but not your aunt, love one friend but not
another, etc. You get the point (or do you?).

Also, here is some basic logic. If you happen to 'like
Kane more than Stone Cold', then your liking for Kane
isn't too extensive considering you hate Stone Cold. Or
is this logic too difficult for you to comprehend?

>I'm warning you
>about Gangrel because I just sent him that archive and
>your address so you
>bettr watch your butt because were onto
>you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As mentioned previously, I would be elated to have
Gangrel visit the site. I would imagine that, due to his
WWF character, he may actually have a sense of humor.
And if he has a certain level of intelligence, he would
understand the SATIRE that Mad Phat specializes in. 
By the way, I don't need to watch my butt. Bostin does
that for me and she does a very good job at it. She's
even poked it a few times to make sure it's still there. 
Again, thank you for patronizing Mad Phat and bringing
it to the attention of Gangrel (or whoever that person
is you're corresponding with).

Sincerely, Chokee Slam and the
Mad Phat Wrestling staff.

cc: Bostin Crab
    Lazarus Poe
    Unforgiven 1
    Frank N. Steiner