Part 10

"I've always measured success not only by the amount of people that love you
but the ones that hate you too.
If you do something that everybody loves, it's not really worth too much."
(Marilyn Manson)

We haven't been getting as much hate mail as we used to 
so we had to dig deep into the long forgotten files. 
Please note that 'mock' hate mail doesn't qualify to be printed on Mad Phat. 
Remember, if it's not real, it's not good. 

Date: Sun, 18 Apr 1999 14:30:00 -0700 (PDT) 
From: chokeeslam@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Your site..... 
To: BigSexx340

Dear BigSexx340,

First off, we'd like to say that you are a true vulgarian, aren't you?

We've done some research, and have conclusively found that the largest phallus in the world belongs to the Balaenoptera musculus, commonly known as the blue whale. The blue whale boasts an endowment of no less than 16 feet! Wow! What do you think about that?

Our site is neither interested in (nor equipped to) suck that.

Lastly, what is "cunt cheese," anyway? Is it anything like Camembert? We don't like Camembert cheese. Too runny.

Thank you for your interest in Mad Phat Wrestling.

Your friends, 
Mad Phat Wrestling

From: BigSexx340
Date: Sun, 18 Apr 1999 21:59:11 EDT 
Subject: Re: Your site..... 
To: chokeeslam@yahoo.com 

You must have a very deep throat to be able to swallow a 16 foot whale cock. By the way I never asked you if you liked cunt cheese, I just said that you are cunt cheese.

Yo Daddy,
BigSexx340

Date: Mon, 19 Apr 1999 17:18:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: ChokeeSlam
Subject: Re: Your site..... 
To: BigSexx340

Dear BigSexx340, 

Let us take a wild guess and assume that you failed reading comprehension in school. Please refer to the last e-mail and TRY to pay attention this time. Get a dictionary. It might help. Also, during your leisure, try reading more (literature and not Iron Horse magazines).

(Hey, did anyone else hear the whistling in between his ears when the whoosh went overhead?)

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Mad Phat Wrestling

Of course this Loser falls under the category of 'I Hate This Site So Much That I Have To Keep Coming Back To It Because I Have Nothing Better To Do With My Life'. 

Date: Fri, 23 Apr 1999 20:47:56 -0400 
From: "Mike T Heathcote Sr." <IceButcher>
Subject: your site....... 
To: "chokeeslam@yahoo.com" 

Hi, you probably don't know who I am yet, but once I tell you, you should. You formerly knew me as BigSexx340, but now I am IceButcher, and in the last e-mail that I sent you I told you to improve your site and to let me know when you did so. Then I might waste my time and check it out again. I am just writing this so that you know that my email has changed so that you can write me back. Have a nice day, dicklicker.

In turn, I will close this out in a noble fashion:

Dear Mr. Heathcote Sr.,

So BigSexx340 must have gotten its sorrowful account closed due to shorting out the loser circuits on <provider omitted>.

We would recommend that you stop waiting for Mad Phat Wrestling to accommodate your needs. Instead I have done an extensive search through the net to find the following sites that were miraculously made especially for your internet needs:

www.boredlife.com
www.isjealousy/acause/forTourettesSyndrome.edu
www.can'tevenpay/someone2B/myfriend.html
www.Ihave2/haveAname/BiggSexx/sincethats/theclosest/I'llget2/havingit.org

Now, we would suggest you spend your time perusing through those sites. We won't wish misfortune on you because the misery you wallow in is doing the job for us. In the meantime, unlike yourself who needs to wait for people to make things happen in your life, we have a website to maintain as well as lives to lead. 

Sincerely,

Mad Phat Wrestling