Part 9

From: cburns
To: chokeeslam@yahoo.com, bostincrab@yahoo.com 
Date: Thu, 23 Sep 1999 13:09:06 -0400 
Subject: LMAO! 

To Bostin Crab and Chokee Slam, delightful cohorts in satire,

I feel compelled to write you two loverly ladies, just due to the sheer amount of gut-wrenching pleasure I derived yesterday when I stumbled on your site.

Here I was, reading a piece on Mick Foley's career, when I decide to see what I can find out about his esteemed partner in death and destruction, Terry Funk. So heading off to the wonderful world of search engines I asked Jeeves, "Where can I find information about Terry Funk?" (I just love that irreproachable butler). Lo' and behold I don't get a site at ALL about him. Not a one. But there was this interesting site called "Mad Phat Wrestling". Well anything with the word Phat in it can't be bad right? So off I go to peruse another site, killing time before the customer that wants help calls in.

Right from the get go I was in love. First off it's rare that women like wrestling (at least in my neck of the woods), second it's rare that they put up webpages devoted to wrestling, third, it's rare I find ANY site that makes me laugh my ass off this hard. 

The insights on the looks of various wrestler's through the years was refreshing. Bostin's tributes to Al were heartfelt (and though I am a straight male, I'm confident enough in my sexuality to say, "Yes, Al Snow is cute." I can not however help pontificate on the beauty that is his ass. Sorry Bostin.) Chokee's infatuation with Glenn Jacobs threw me off guard, as I for one never saw much in Isaac Yankem. But some of those earlier pics of Glenn (like the one with Al) showed me the error of my ways.

Your Hate Mail section almost knocked me out of my chair. You girls have the wit and skills to go very far in the professional sarcasm business, so don't give up hope yet. And the gallery floored me. I had to turn the mute on my phone on while some poor individual was explaining his computer problems to me while looking at the picture of Kane trying to get UT to do the hokey-pokey! Those galleries are TRULY inspired.

You've made a fan, and I will be back to read all about your sarcastic little world on a regular basis. Thank you very much for the priviledge of viewing your site.

And since I don't have a wrestling alias, I'll sign this simply,

Chris

P.S. - If you two have WWF Attitude for the Playstation, I'd love to know if you made Chokee Slam and Bostin Crab as wrestlers, I'd love to add them to my tag team stables!

From: "Andy Given"  
To: chokeeslam@yahoo.com 
Subject: hullo. 
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 1999 13:16:18 EDT 

Huzzahs and kudos to my new favorite heros. It is such a relief to finally come across an internet site that views wrestling as what it is, entertainment. All too often I come across web sites that take wrestling way too seriously, people wanting to believe that wrestlers actually dislike each other and just happen to settle their differences inside of a ring in silly costumes in front of millions....and millions (sorry) of people. I consider myself an educated person and was tired of listening to the endless drone of people chanting the Rock's tired catch-phrases as if they could never have an intelligent thought on their own. 

That's when you girls saved me. Finally, someone who has seen the error of letting Dean Malenko talk and Chyna's frightening resemblance to Skeletor (man those were the days, He-Man, Voltron, ahhhhh...) for a time. So, just wanted to say thanks and instead rambled on for a while. Trying to think of more humorous things to say, but my brain is fried from trying to figure out if Edge and his chin could ever be tag-champions.

Peace Out,
Koko B. Ware
(the most under appreciated wrestler ever.)