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By Chokee Slam & Bostin Crab (10/98)

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Many wrestling fans have inquired as to whether professional wrestlers may have email accounts. We have no idea if any professional wrestlers have email accounts, nor do we actually believe that they would have the time to surf the internet. If any professional wrestlers actually do surf the internet, and find their way here, we, Bostin Crab and Chokee Slam have a few things we'd like to say:

  • Please don't hurt us!
  • Please don't hunt us down.
  • Please don't put us in any piledrivers (this means YOU, Owen), boston crabs, sleeper holds, ankle lock submissions (this means YOU, Kenny), indian burns, etc.; also, no pinching, squeezing, popping, pounding or pushing.... please.
  • We hold wrestlers in the highest regards and we have great respect for your athleticism and intelligence (even Dean Malenko-- OH! who said that?)
  • Last point: We are of low self-esteem, and just make jokes to bolster our tiny egos (really).

That said, we figure that most wrestlers' email addresses would be pretty obscure to the common fan. We would like to make the following suggestions for wrestlers emails/screen names.

FANTASY SCREEN NAMES FOR PRO WRESTLERS:

Stone Cold Steve Austin stone_cold@whoopass.com

alt: steve_williams@shutthehellup.com

Bill Goldberg billy_g@floppedbackwards.com
The Undertaker bigdeadbastard@wetspot.com
The Rock rocky23487@chronicsweater.com
Kenny Shamrock kenny_s@upsettingpanties.com
Dan Severn dannybeast@turtleneckpanties.com
Kane kane635308756@mantit.com
Sable sable@bigsalinesack.com
Goldust dustin_r@cantfiguremygimmick.com
Dean Malenko deanmalenko@a4horsemen.com
Hollywood Hogan hh2344@suitcaseskin.com
Kevin Nash diesel@badleatherpants.com
Scott Hall scotty234@imnothispanic.com
Vince McMahon vinniemac@badactor.com
Mark Henry marky@neckflap.org
D'lo Brown dlo@neckspring.net
X-Pac sean1236X@faceraper.com
Hunter Hearst Helmsley HHH222@nogimmick.com
Chyna joanie_l@lispersanonymous.com
Road Dog Jesse James jesse_j@icantshutup.com
Bad Ass Billy Gunn kipp@gaypants.com
Terry Funk terrysfunky@imreallyold.com
Mankind mickfoley@imoutofmymind.com
alt: mick_f@bigsloppypants.com
Edge prettyboy@allchin.com
Gangrel gangrel234@fatbloatedvampire.com
Shawn Michaels m_hickenbottom@norhythm.com
Marc Mero littlerichardfan@weirdchesthair.com
Owen Hart owen_hart@cantpiledrive.com
Bret Hart bret994@gericurl.com
Jeff Jarrett dontpickmeoff@silversurfergayoutfit.com
Steve Blackman stevie_b@ineverwrestle.com
Vader leon_w@allbacknobutt.com
The following fantasy emails were submitted by LazarusPoe@aol.com
Chris Jericho lionheart@Neverneverdothatagain.com
Bobby Heenan weasel@kissbutt.com
Brian Christopher b_lawler@whopperjr.com
Miguel los_boriquoas@chiapet.com
Southern Justice godwins@pigstye.com
Terri Runnels marlena@shaken_not stirred.com
Lodi Kinkos@easilylead.com
Vanhammer goldustwannabe@nipplering.com
Buff Bagwell marcus_b@momstillboxesmyears.com
Scott Steiner bigppump@Ilooklikebluto.com
Rick Steiner doghouse@whoofwhoof.com

 

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Email Chokee Slam** or Bostin Crab**
**Please note that any email (hate mail or otherwise) will become the property of
Mad Phat Wrestling, and may be reprinted on this site at any time in the future.
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