by Inane Man

ORGANIZED BY WRESTLER/TEAM
AS OF JANUARY, 1999
BY NICK WEBER
inaneman@hotmail.com

STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN

• Whenever a match is interrupted to show someone entering the arena, drink. If it's somebody other than Steve, drink again. If it's anyone other than Steve, Undertaker, Kane, Mankind, D-X or Vince/corporate guys, chug.
• If Steve interrupts a match, drink. If he enters the ring and stuns everybody in it, drink. If he stuns ICP, laugh out loud, then drink three times. If he stuns any corporate people, drink twice for each one.
• If he's thirsty and gets a beer, drink once. If he chugs, chug.
• Whenever he calls Paul Bearer a 'fat bastard' or just a 'bastard', drink.
• If he stuns a non-wrestler, drink. If, after they get stunned, they  flop around wildly, drink again.

MICK FOLEY

• If you see Socko, drink. If Mick actually gets to use him, drink  again. If Lawler screams like a little girl at the Sockoble Claw,  drink.
• If Lawler screams, "He's an idiot!", drink.
• If JR or Cole appears to be supporting Mick, drink. If Lawler is  supporting Mick, chug a six-pack.
• If Mick is visibly wearing his Dude Love shirt or a JOB Squad shirt underneath his Mankind getup, chug.
• If Mick and Al Snow tag team together, drink. If they actually win, drink three times.
• If he whacks somebody in the head with a bizarre object (i.e. a  leafblower), drink.
• If Mick changes personas, drink thrice.
• If Mick says the phrase "testicular fortitude", drink twice.

THE ROCK

• When he raises the eyebrow, drink. If he raises it underneath  sunglasses, drink again.
• If a wrestler gets an extremely surprised look on their face when being rock bottomed, drink.
• If, when interviewed, he tells the interviewer to 'Shut up, The  Rock's talkin' here!", or something to that effect, drink.
• If he stares insanely at the audience during "Rocky sucks!", drink.
• If he is about to slam somebody into the crowd and says "Get the F*** outta the way!" to the crowd, drink twice. If F*** does not get bleeped, chug.

UNDERTAKER

• If he does that freaky thing with his eyes, drink.
• If you see a wet spot, drink. If you can make out a shape\letter,  drink again. (This also applies to Kane)
• Drink every time he says "Ministry of Darkness".

AL SNOW

• If, during a match, he picks up Head and talks to it, drink. If it  causes him to lose, drink again.
• If he and/or the JOB Squad help somebody win a match, drink.
• If someone gets some Head, drink.
• If Al is gets to use a microphone, chug.
• If Al has a really stupid angle (i.e. Goldust stealing Head), drink.
• If someone misses from a dive off the turnbuckle, drink. Drink again if it's not Al.

VAL VENIS

• If he gets hit in the jimmy, drink. If it's from anyone other than  Terry Runnels or Goldust, chug.
• If the bald spot has grown since the last time you saw it, drink.

KANE

• Drink once for each time Lawler screams like a little girl during Kane's entrance.
• If Kane interrupts a match to choke slam people, drink. If, after  choke slammed, a character spazzes out while unconscious, drink again.
• If Chokee Slam jumps out of the audience and clings to Kane, wish her  the best of luck, then go to the liquor cabinet.
• If he talks, drink. If he can't seem to get that voice thingie right  and you hear his real voice, drink again.

THE BROOD

• If JR or Cole says "bizarre, gothic lifestyle" or "gothic lifestyle",   drink.
• If Edge's pants clash, drink.
• If a wrestler gets cherry kool-aid poured over them, drink.

DEGENERATION X

• If they do an impersonation, drink twice. If Billy Gunn gets  confused as to whose line it is, drink.
• If the Outlaws get hit before they can finish their little speech,  drink twice. If they don't do it at all, chug. If they do something different (i.e. "Heavyweight champion of the world, Mankind!") drink  thrice. If Road Dogg does it even though Billy isn't even there,drink.
• If X-Pac face-rapes somebody, drink. If Lawler or a McMahon calls it   "rape", drink again.
• Whenever someone says "Road Doggy Dogg", drink.

JOB SQUAD

• If anybody other than Al or Dwayne Gill/Gillberg fight, chug. If  they win, chug again. If they win without someone's help, chug yet  again. (These do not apply if someone is being given a push. If any JOB Squad member, with the exceptions of Al and Gillberg, is given a push, prepare for the apocalypse.)
• If any member of the JOB Squad gets to use a microphone, chug.
• If you even see the Blue Meanie, or at least someone that look slike him, chug.

ODDITIES

• If they ever change their theme music, praise the gods, then chug.
• If "that other guy" fights, (the guy who's not Golga, Kurrgan or George. You know, "that other guy"!) chug.
• If they fight somebody other than the Headbangers, drink twice.

THE GODFATHER

• If he says "Pimpin' ain't easy" more than three times, drink.
• For each skank he comes out with, drink.
• If a ho is wearing a modest outfit, chug.

MISCELLANEOUS

• If Michael Cole says "tremendous", sip.
• If JR says "MAH GAHD!", drink.
• If you see DOA, drink twice. If they wrestle, chug.
• Every time Lawler screams like a little girl, drink.
• Whenever someone is interviewed, drink. If they are subsequently  attacked, drink again.
• If the "Slam of the Week" or the "Rewind" is from more than a week   ago, drink.
• Drink if you hear a chant. Drink again if it's not "Austin...   Austin...".
• Sip each time Lawler insults a wrestler. Chug if they actually  deserve it.
• Drink whenever the announcers hawk a magazine article featuring the  WWF.
• Whenever someone mentions "The Money Pit Down in Atlanta", drink. If they refer to it by name, drink again.

(The following only apply if you switch to Nitro during commercials)

• If Nitro is on commercials at the same time as RAW, drink. If it's  the same commercial as RAW, drink again.
• If they actually have a match on, drink twice. If it's a wrestler rant, drink once. Drink again if you switch during the next WWF break  and the same match\rant is still going on.
• If the announcers tell you they are "COMPLETELY LIVE!", drink. If Schiavone insults Mick Foley again, don't hesitate to give your TV the Stone Cold Salute.
• If someone in the Nitro audience does the D-X crotch chop, drink. If Scott Hall does it, drink twice.
• If, after WWF's commercials are over, they immediately have a match, drink twice.